It was a good day after all......

Ahhh, Valentine's Day. It is hailed as the most romantic day of the year. Folks scrambling wildly to get the perfect gift or arrange for the perfect date. Lots of folks get marrigae proposals and rose petal turn-downs at classy hotels,and need I mention the after hours aerobic activities??? Well, I was not in that group,but that's okay. It's been since 1996 that I spent V-day with a sweethaeart and time has taught me how to enjoy the holiday for myself even though I am by myself. The day started with a loving call to my Mom and wishing her all the love she could stand. Then I got a Valentine text from the guy that broke up with me (what an ass). I was going to be mean and not respond...I at least responded thanks. Oh it gets funnier....he sent me a cheap a%# card in the mail the read "Valentine wishes with lots of love". Ok, he must really think I'm desparate for male attention. Again, I silenced the evil voice telling me to not thank the clown for the card.... I texted him a thank you. Then he responds..."Just letting you know you're being fondly thought of." WTH????? Ok, now it's REALLY obvious he wants to keep me in rotation for occasional nooky. I ain't the one!!! When I'm done with you, I'm done! Liek the Bible says (and I'm paraphrasing) "going back to your old ways is like a dog returning to it's vomit". Needless to say I haven't heard anymore from him,which proves all that was just a bunch of mess.
I went to mall, bought myself some lip gloss and some smell-good for the crib. Then I stopped by the store to pick up a card and some flowers for a homegirl of mine. Us single women have to encourage each other and show each other love. I met Babs and the Intern for 'Ritas and chips..(check out Babs' blog...I got a new nickname), then I headed off to see 5 Men On A Stool. I had a great time. Of course when I returned home,my dog Chip was excited to see me as always. Good ole faithful,unconditional lovin' Chip. Before I closed my eyes, I thanked God for His love, the love of family,friends,Chip,and definately the love I have for myself. In the words of that 20th century poet Ice Cube..."today was a good day..."

Untitled.......Nah, just couldn't think of a subject......

It's a new year and it's been a heck of a long time since my last entry. A lot has happened, some good things,some bad things,but I'm still here.

I just started locking my hair last week and I love them already. I wanted a new look and that's what I got. I changed my hair color to a deep auburn and I've gotten back into the gym.

Enough of the physical stuff....Spiritually, I'm being made over as well. Last year was pretty rough for me and I really fell off the wagon. I began to wonder if God really cared. You know how it is when things don't work out the way you'd like,so you decide to take matters into your own hands? Yep, that was my mistake. I made connections with people who did not have my best interest at heart. I was drained,my heart was bleeding, and my soul felt empty. The crazy part is that everything in my spirit told me that those folks were not to be trusted,not to be allowed in my space. Of course I ignored my spirit's warning and moved ahead to feed my desire to end the lonliness. Those relationships took me to some dark places. Still, I stayed knowing full well I should walk away. Both men ended up leaving me. Was I hurt? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Did I regret their departure? NO!!!!! Thankfully, I was woman enough to look in the mirror and admit that I had the power in the first place to walk away. Secondly, I realized that I still had some healing to do. It was truly something to be with a new man that reminded me of the men I dated before. Painful,very painful.

So, I had a heart to heart with God. And because He is sooo merciful and sooo loving, He gladly wiped away my tears and helped me to get back on my feet again. Instead of running ahead of God, I'm allowing Him to lead me. I'm sitting still and really watching,listening,learning. I'm facing the problems of my past that I've allowed to keep me from moving forward. I've asked God to hold on to my heart so that I won't foolishly give it away anymore. I've asked God to teach me how to love Him,myself, and others the right way. So, in the late watches of the night I listen to the Lord, I listen to my heart,I let healing take place..........

Catching Up and Chillin' Out.........

Ok, ok....it's been ions since the last entry,but a sistah has to work in order to eat!!!! LOL! Nevertheless, I'm back! I was sooo blessed to have the opportunity to go to St. Maarten for a few days and just relax. Thanks be to God for touching my friend's heart and inviting me(we'll call him Dr. Feelgood). The island was beautiful. I got lots of sun and lots of thinking done. By the way, this sistah did get naked on the French side of things of course...LOL! I got a fabulous tan and lots of sleep. I was able to make somedecisions that I needed to be solid on for a while now. The folks who know me know that I have lost my passion for my current occupation. For years I've had dreams of doing my own thing,but all I did was dream and talk about it. Now, thanks to Dr. Feelgood's advice coupled with confirmation by the Holy Spirit, I am making moves to go back to school to be an easthetician. YEA!!!! In case you don't know what they do, it's all about facials and body wraps,baby! I'm all about pleasure and getting in touch with self, so why not get paid for bringing pleasure to others? Hold on, that sounded like a hooker excuse...LOL! Seriously, I have had a love affair with the spa for years and even imagined owning my own someday. I know it will be a lot of work, but God is able to do more than I can ask or think. Since I've made up my mind and started laying the foundation, I'm so much more at peace. Yea, the relationship thing was a thorn in my side, but I've decided to use that passion for a loving relationship and turn it on to myself. What God has for me, it is for me. In the midst of beautiful proposals and people falling in love, it's high time I fall in love with me .....again.
God is so awesome! Truly He knows our thoughts and desires before they are uttered. After my mini holiday a few weeks ago, I started watching the planes fly over my house and imagine myself on one of them headed for another beautiful place. Just a couple of weeks ago my awesome, wonderful,generous,kind, and cool friend Dr Feelgood comes through again!!! This time, he's treating me to a trip to Negril Jamaica!! Look at God!!! Now you know a sistah was cryin'....and of course I thanked him after I picked myself up off of the ground...LOL! My friend just laughed...God laughed...shoot after a while I laughed! Not at myself,but laughing because in that instant God showed me that anything I put my mind to(that is for His good and glory) He can make it happen for those who love Him. Stay tuned folks...this journey will get even more interesting. Peace and blessings to you...Get naked!!!!

Just Let Go......

A few months ago, I met a man that really put the spark back into my life. He was charming and funny in his own way. What I appreciated about him most was that he didn't try to change me.....he was all right with the woman that I am. He dug my natural hair and couldn't keep his hands out of it. He was affectionate and caring, rough around the edges,but a softy at heart. Even though I have prayed and asked for forgiveness...yes people brotha-man broke the dry spell!!! The sex was off da hook!!! Literally folks, I felt chains falling off ever time we were intimate. I felt so free around him. Besides all of that, I could feel in my spirit that he was restless, tormented. There was all this confusion that raged inside of him and he really wanted to be free. So, he used his huge appetite for sex and weed to cover up the pain(and a little machoism). But me, being the ever "please let me help you-let me stand by you" chick, I wanted to be there for him even more. Why you ask? I could see his potential and I wasn't about to let this good man waste away and get away. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same way about me. he gave me the "ducks in a row" speech...blah,blah,blah. I admit,I was messed up for a couple of weeks. having to go cold turkey without him after non-stop communication was hell. Nevertheless, that time apart really opened my eyes. It was so easy for him to walk away. Did I really want to be with someone who could drop me at the turn of a dime? After a month of silence, he came back,but only for sex. And that my friends was all I was to him. I let him know that I meant what I said when I told him that I really cared for him. Just like he made it clear that all he wants is sex right now, I made it clear that I care and want to build a life with him. The trippin' part is that he was the one that said we shouldn't have sex anymore so that we wouldn't end of being angry with one another!!! And he came back for a hit and run!!! THE NERVE!!! Like my mama says "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!" I can't make him want me . Why should I continue to pour out my anoionting to treat a man well on someone who doesn't want and wouldn't truly appreciate it? This brotha came into my life at a time whe I needed him most. let's face it, I enjoyed having that male presence in my life. I enjoyed being held and kissed, and yes getting toe-curling, spine-tingling,earth shattering, slap my mam and call the law sex. He just was not my forever. Meeting his family and spending all that time together apparently meant nothing to him. Well, no sense in crying over spilled milk. He had to move in order to make room for the real thing. And even if there is no "real thing", I'm determined to live my life to the fullest and have joy no matter what.

Encouraged to Wait.....

I'm a single woman in a happening city who desires to marry. It's not easy to meet marriage material around here. Sure, you'll meet someone,but is that person worth your time,energy, and emotions? I've tried the whole "matchmaking" thing whether by way of a friend (and judging by the prospects they brought I wonder if they really are my friends) or by way of the new high-tech e-dating. Nothing happened. I've prayed and cried,all of that stuff. When I did meet someone who I had a great connection with,he's filed under "not ready". It hurt me,but that's okay. I don't like half cooked food and I ceratinly don't want a half cooked man!!!

Today, I learned an age old lesson...again. Remember hearing someone say "everything that glittters ain't gold" ? It is so true. A married couple I know is the envy of lots of people...known and unknown to them. They SEEM to have it all,depending on your definition of all. I must admit the material flash caught my eye first. Hey,who doesn't like nice things? Anyway, I found out the hubby has been talking to his ex-girlfriend everyday and whining about his marriage being the biggest mistake of his life. WOW!!! The wind was knocked out of me. I thought how devestated I'd feel to find out that my husband considered our marriage a mistake. I could run him over with a bus, and I feel sorry for her. I know she loves this man,even if it was the flash that got her attention in the first place. Then the Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit so clearly...."this was what you envied? Just rest in Me ,daughter. I know what I'm doing." It was just reinforced what I already knew. God blocked all of those other relationships to save me from greater devastation. Oh sure,if you beg Him enough, He'll give you what you ask for and you'd better be ready to handle all that comes with it. I was able to flash back over all those relationships and see clearly that they were out of line with His Word and His will. Yes, I feel lonely at times and want to be held and kissed, made love to,have someone around to share with and care for. Yet I'd rather deal with a short spell of lonlinessand have peace deep within than to abruptly marry just anybody and deal with a lifetime of disappointment. I pray for that couple and I know that God's will shall be done in that relationship. I've even made the decision to live in fullness everyday whether I marry or not. Man, was it hard laying that dream on the altar! So while I munch on turtle tracks ice cream and play with my dog, I thank God for peace and pray for the strength to hold out.

Welcome to the Nude Room....

Hello all! I'm the Naked Sistah. Why that name? Well,you've heard of the Barefoot Contessa,right? In my world, I'm all about being true to myself, my friends,and just keeping it real. How much more truthful can you get beyond nakedness? Aside from being naked spiritually, I like being naked physically,too. We'll talk about that some other time. I was inspired by my girl Babs to do a blog. This makes my journaling more interesting and gives you folks a look at my world as I know it. I'll share my triumphs,trials,mistakes,victories,lessons learned,etc. Please believe you will get your laugh on,you might even tear up a bit. So stay tuned for my first entry. By the way,please feel free to be naked in your comments. My folks know I'm all about the real. Take some dramamine...this will get a little bumpy along the way,but I promise there will be smooth sailing,too. Peace and blessings....let the strip show begin......