Untitled.......Nah, just couldn't think of a subject......

It's a new year and it's been a heck of a long time since my last entry. A lot has happened, some good things,some bad things,but I'm still here.

I just started locking my hair last week and I love them already. I wanted a new look and that's what I got. I changed my hair color to a deep auburn and I've gotten back into the gym.

Enough of the physical stuff....Spiritually, I'm being made over as well. Last year was pretty rough for me and I really fell off the wagon. I began to wonder if God really cared. You know how it is when things don't work out the way you'd like,so you decide to take matters into your own hands? Yep, that was my mistake. I made connections with people who did not have my best interest at heart. I was drained,my heart was bleeding, and my soul felt empty. The crazy part is that everything in my spirit told me that those folks were not to be trusted,not to be allowed in my space. Of course I ignored my spirit's warning and moved ahead to feed my desire to end the lonliness. Those relationships took me to some dark places. Still, I stayed knowing full well I should walk away. Both men ended up leaving me. Was I hurt? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Did I regret their departure? NO!!!!! Thankfully, I was woman enough to look in the mirror and admit that I had the power in the first place to walk away. Secondly, I realized that I still had some healing to do. It was truly something to be with a new man that reminded me of the men I dated before. Painful,very painful.

So, I had a heart to heart with God. And because He is sooo merciful and sooo loving, He gladly wiped away my tears and helped me to get back on my feet again. Instead of running ahead of God, I'm allowing Him to lead me. I'm sitting still and really watching,listening,learning. I'm facing the problems of my past that I've allowed to keep me from moving forward. I've asked God to hold on to my heart so that I won't foolishly give it away anymore. I've asked God to teach me how to love Him,myself, and others the right way. So, in the late watches of the night I listen to the Lord, I listen to my heart,I let healing take place..........